James

For someone whom I rarely saw, having him gone is painful. We didn't always get along, noone is unaware of this fact, but we did love eachother. I remember times when he came to my defense. He guarded me against any wrongs he could.

He loved to poke at me. I react...so he keeps poking. My other siblings say this is a sign of his love for me. I suppose it is. He used to tell me he wouldn't tease me if the things he was teasing me about were real problems. What a goof.

I share with others the saturating grief that comes from having been apart and withdrawn from him when he needed me most. I doubt he would have accepted any attempt on my part at re-establishing our contact. My husband tried to get him to call us...you know the result. I wish I could have done something to make his life bearable. I wish he had accepted my love.

We go on.